He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Randomize
