I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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