I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i out mim tonsoeep
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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