I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
