dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
