i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize