I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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