she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
