And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
