Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
