If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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