Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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