i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize