the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
