The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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