so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
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