my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
