a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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