idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
