she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
