Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
