umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
