You really coming over, don't trick.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
