Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
