I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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