We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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