Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
