I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
