Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
