I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
