We won't sleep together?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
