Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
