I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
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