i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
