You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I wear drunk well.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
