I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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