But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
