I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We have started to decorate penises.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
