We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
