Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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