I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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