My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Fuck appropriateness.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
