Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
