I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
