everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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