Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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