Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
This is my gift to your gina
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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