mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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