she woke up with a sticky ear
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
