rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize