I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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