erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
dude i'm inner monologue high
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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