The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
