if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You ruined the universe
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
