if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
