god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
