UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
