Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
