YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
